Summary
*TBA*
Research
To help create my independent study novella, I’ve compiled some research that has helped me create characters, settings, and themes while writing. This is an ongoing post as of 9/12/2022 and will most likely have some additions in the next few months.
The idea of my novella really stemmed from the idea of Caim, specifically Collin de Plancy’s illustration of the demon from his 1863 edition of Dictionnaire Infernal. His first appearance in demonology has been traced back to the mid-17th century with the publication of The Lesser Key of Solomon. He appears specifically in the first part entitled, Ars Goetia. In this, Caim is designated as a “President” of Hell, ruling over thirty legions of demons. There is some dispute over whether Caim is considered a President or a Prince of Hell, though in my novella, Caim is simply a demon serving under the Princes of Hell. The Ars Goetia also gives some insight into Caim’s character, specifically that he is a great disputer and will tell the truth of things to come. (Photo: The Demon “Caim” as illustrated in Collin de Plancy’s Dictionnaire Infernal, 1863 edition.)
Without spoiling my novella too much, Caim’s appearance in the mortal realm is due to sigil magic. The second part of The Lesser Key of Solomon focuses primarily on the sigils of each of the seventy-two demons of Hell. This part follows the Ars Goetia, rightly entitled the Ars Theurgia Goetia. Caim, labeled the 53rd demon of Hell, has his own sigil that can be used to summon him. While the process of summoning demons is convoluted and sometimes conflicting with other rules outlined in the Ars Goetia and the third book, Ars Paulina, Caim’s summoning in the novella has been simplified. Interestingly, the Ars Paulina details the “adventures” of Paul the Apostle communicating with demons and spirits. With the translation of The Lesser Key of Solomon in 1904, Aleister Crowley not only made the addition of new invocations, but also essays describing the use of demon sigils as a psychological exploration rather than demon summoning. (Photo: Caim’s sigil as found in the Ars Theurgia Goetia)
Abel Turner’s parents own “Twisted Turner’s Escapes”, which is an escape room. Coincidentally, I work at an escape room. The description and set up of Twisted Turner’s is based largely on Maine Escape Games, an independently own company in South Portland. One of my favorite scenes that I’ve written so far is when Caim possesses some of the props in a wizard theme room to attack a group of children. Unashamedly, these props are based on actual, wooden books that can be found in the room Southport School for Wizards at Maine Escape Games. Note: Maine Escape Games does not condone the use of props or any other material to harm children.
Draft
Progress/Metacommentary
The following metacommentary is based on journals I completed during my independent study. I have added a few thoughts from my current perspective.
Based on the feedback from the last meeting with Professor Miller, there are a few things I want to revise once I make more headway into the main plot of the novella. First, I agreed that the opening might not be the best place to start the story. I love the scene. It started out as a short story start, but then grew into so much more. With a little revision, I think the scene could be condensed, especially once I figure out my intentions with it. It definitely has a place in the story, at least, it does right now. That could change, but I really think that it might be better to place it later on, maybe when the audience has a better grasp of reality. One of the pieces of advice that I was given was to “solidify the audience in reality, then bend it”. I’ve seen that Neil Gaiman does this in his novella, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, and I think that it’s a good rule to live by, especially when it comes to real-world fantasy. Another thing I’d like to revise is the scene right after Caim and Abel’s meeting with the priest. It stung, but I agree that the scene is too long and too dialogue heavy. I tried writing the next ten pages with a focus on Abel’s inner monologue as well as setting description, and even this attempt showed me just how much space the dialogue in the previous sections was taking. I like the humor in that scene, and I think my original intention was to just give some background information of the aspects of Hell, but I know that that information can fit so much better in another part of my story. The whole scene might just have to be scrapped and moved around. I felt a little discouraged about this at first, but the more I think about it, the more I’m realizing that I can never make a perfect first draft and that I’m telling the story to myself. The good stuff will come later. One last thing I’d like to revise is the dynamic between Caim and Abel. It almost feels a little inconsistent. Sometimes, they’ll act like they tolerate each other, then other times, Abel is just downright rude while Caim wants to murder him. I think having a little more grounding, not just in terms of their relationship, but in setting and time too, would be helpful in the long run.
I think some of the biggest revisions I can make with the second set of pages would be on pacing and character. When it comes to character, I need to revise some aspects of Abel’s dialogue/inner monologue just to make sure it fits, but I also need to heighten the tension between Abel and his parents. One way is to develop Abel’s competency/incompetency when it comes to working at the escape room or just being an adult in general. I should also revise the ending of the scene on page 6, just so Abel has a more immediate consequence to his actions (or rather, Caim’s actions). The clean up scene between Calliope and Abel slows the story down, so I need to make sure that the plot keeps moving. It needs to be compacted, but I’m still trying to figure out how to move the story along without sacrificing Calliope’s role within the story. I also just need to get to the library quicker, as it tends to linger on smaller, insignificant details. It seems like these pages have a good idea of where they’re going, but they just need to be refined in smaller, more detailed ways.
I think in terms of revision for the third set of pages, I need to work up the tension and the reasoning for certain scenes (like the dream sequences). There’s a lot of tension that I could use, but I tend to go through those scenes a little too quickly. There’s also a moment where Calliope, Caim, and Abel leave the library. Instead of showing the tension there, I just tell it. I think that’s the biggest point of revision within those pages. I need to work on building the tension and figure out which parts to “skim” past and which parts need to be worked up a little more. I’m somewhat happy with the pages I’ve written, but I need to really think about what points of the story I need to highlight and draw out a bit more. This isn’t so much a story revision as much as a “personal revision”, but I need to be kinder to myself when looking at the pages I’ve written and their quality. I’m just writing a draft, so it’s almost supposed to be crappy.
For the fourth set of pages, I need to focus particularly on the relationship between Abel and his parents. I also need to think about the reasoning/specifics of Abel taking over the family business. Since this is one of the main factors keeping Abel and Caim together, the relationship between Abel and his parents needs to be dismembered to cause more tension within the story. Another smaller edit would be to fix the use of italics within this section. The story is told from a first person perspective, so there’s really no need to use italics to designate Abel’s personal thoughts. One of the other biggest revisions regards Quinn. There’s a scene in which Abel blames himself for Quinn’s death, but it’s a little jarring and out of the blue. Therefore, I need to put in more moments/breadcrumbs relating to Quinn earlier on in the story, specifically about his death.
My biggest revisions for this section revolve around the relationship between Quinn and Abel. I need to establish the relationship more before plunging the reader into a huge backstory. I also need to rework some of the ‘romantic’ dialogue, as it feels/reads too scripted. One of the biggest things regards Quinn’s death. I need to clarify how long it’s been since Quinn died in order to keep Abel “stuck” in the age/mindset he was when he died. Some smaller revisions would be to dial up Abel’s grief and to plant seeds regarding Abel’s personal burdens.
Revision
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