For revisions, I need to focus particularly on the relationship between Abel and his parents. I also need to think about the reasoning/specifics of Abel taking over the family business. Since this is one of the main factors keeping Abel and Caim together, the relationship between Abel and his parents needs to be dismembered to cause more tension within the story. Another smaller edit would be to fix the use of italics within this section. The story is told from a first person perspective, so there’s really no need to use italics to designate Abel’s personal thoughts. One of the other biggest revisions regards Quinn. There’s a scene in which Abel blames himself for Quinn’s death, but it’s a little jarring and out of the blue. Therefore, I need to put in more moments/breadcrumbs relating to Quinn earlier on in the story, specifically about his death.
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