I think in terms of revision, I need to work up the tension and the reasoning for certain scenes (like the dream sequences). There’s a lot of tension that I could use, but I tend to go through those scenes a little too quickly. There’s also a moment where Calliope, Caim, and Abel leave the library. Instead of showing the tension there, I just tell it. I think that’s the biggest point of revision within those pages. I need to work on building the tension and figure out which parts to “skim” past and which parts need to be worked up a little more. I’m somewhat happy with the pages I’ve written, but I need really think about what points of the story I need to highlight and draw out a bit more. This isn’t so much a story revision as much as a “personal revision”, but I need to be kinder to myself when looking at the pages I’ve written and their quality. I’m just writing a draft, so it’s almost suppose to be crappy.