Short Story 1

What is it?

This is the story of loss and finding meaning in other people

Likes:

I like how this story takes place within the main character’s head. It highlights just how alone your character feels when they don’t interact with anyone else. I also thought your description was incredibly well-done, specifically the old man who enters the bus. I also enjoyed how this story was just a “day in the life” kind of story for our character, despite his difficult past.

Questions/Suggestions:

One of my main questions focused on what happened to Marely. I think it’s a little vague, which is good if you want the readers to speculate, and I suppose it does add an air of privacy around the characters. I think if you highlight the interactions and the history between Marely and Sebastian a little more, there might be more depth within the story.

Unfamiliar Endings

What is it?

This is a story of unconditional love and the price one has to pay to attain it

Likes:

Just like your last story, I really enjoyed your dialogue. There’s a lot of humor sprinkled throughout your story, even though there are pretty heavy themes. I also like how you crumbled the main characters’ plans (or lack thereof) pretty early on in the story. You allow them to have to search for alternate means of escaping, even if that means they had to make hard choices. The beginning was one of my favorite sections, since it really just jumps the story into action with witty dialogue and fast-paced drama.

Questions/Suggestions:

I think my biggest questions were about why Boston and Summer were on the run. What did they do? How did the cops know their names? I feel like there’s a lot of unresolved questions that the reader has by the end of this story, so maybe there’s room to explore that more, possibly by telling this to Boston’s dad. I also didn’t really understand why Boston’s dad never returned, even after getting sober, but that could just be personal question. I would suggest thinking about where the story truly starts for these characters and if there’s a way we can get more information without sacrificing the scope of the story.