Into the Woods

What is it?

This is the story of a married couple who go into the woods to save their marriage.

Likes:

I liked the pacing in your story. Slowly introducing some of the creepier/more threatening elements throughout the narrative really heightens the tension the reader feels. I also like how you kept the reader grounded for the first few pages. This helps the reader understand that they are in the real world and that they have something to compare the strange circumstances to.

Questions/Suggestions:

I have a lot of questions about this story. Is there something supernatural going on in the woods? Who is in the lake? What was crying out in the middle of the night? While the nature of your story allows you to not have to answer these questions, it seems like none of these questions or problems are answered throughout the story. This, personally, causes the story to feel a little frustrating, as no change/character development happens. It honestly seems like the story you want to tell begins at the end of your story.

Him

What is it?

This is the story of a girl who finally speaks her mind.

Likes:

I liked the characterization and the description you have at the beginning of your story. It really heightens the scene and adds more realism into the story. I also like how you use characters to create scenarios that bring Tessa and Peyton together.

Questions/Suggestions:

My biggest suggestion is to add more description/action while Peyton and Tessa are talking. You have incredibly long sections of dialogue and personally, that took me out of the story. It’s very dialogue heavy, but I feel like, even if this is happening in her mind, Tessa and Peyton would be doing something, like getting drinks or looking flustered. I also feel like Tessa didn’t go through a change during this narrative, which made the ending a little flat for me.