Short Story 1

What is it?

This is the story of a future generation attempting to bridge the gap between themselves and their ancestors.

Likes:

This is such a unique concept! I like how you focused in on a key moment, instead of explaining the whole history of Stephan’s search for answers. I also like how you very deliberately sprinkled in details about Stephan’s people without stating them right at the very beginning of the story. You create a slow buildup to the world the reader is in really well.

Questions/Suggestions:

I think my biggest question is about Stephan’s motivation. You said in class that he’s a historian, but I was really curious to see/hear why he chose that path. You have a wonderful moment of empathy when Stephan sees the small handprint, which can clue the reader into his motivations, but it leaves a lot of room for speculation. I also think that giving more detail about Stephan and his people who be good. We know that they’re these mer-folk types of people, but you have the potential to really be creative in how they look/talk, etc.

One More Job

What is it?

This is the story of what happens when you’re forced to relive the past.

Likes:

I liked the action sequences you wrote. They were really vivid and flowed well. I also thought that your dialogue was well done and didn’t feel forced. One of the biggest things I liked was how you set the story up. You give the characters a realistic motivation to return to a life of crime instead of just having them act like it was a spur of the moment thing.

Questions/Suggestions:

I think my biggest question was really something that you’d have to think about. Does this story really fit in to the form of a short story? I feel like there’s a lot of questions that remain unanswered and I feel like the characters didn’t get enough time to face consequences/change throughout the events. I really liked this story, but I feel like you need to consider what parts of it you want to tell.