Based on the feedback from the last meeting with Professor Miller, there are a few things I want to revise once I make more headway into the main plot of the novella. First, I agreed that the opening might not be the best place to start the story. I love the scene. It started out as a short story start, but then grew into so much more. With a little revision, I think the scene could be condensed, especially once I figure out my intentions with it. It definitely has a place in the story, at least, it does right now. That could change, but I really think that it might be better to place it later on, maybe when the audience has a better grasp of reality. One of the pieces of advice that I was given was to “solidify the audience in reality, then bend it”. I’ve seen that Neil Gaiman does this in his novella, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, and I think that it’s a good rule to live by, especially when it comes to real-world fantasy. Another thing I’d like to revise is the scene right after Caim and Abel’s meeting with the priest. It stung, but I agree that the scene is too long and too dialogue heavy. I tried writing the next ten pages with a focus on Abel’s inner monologue as well as setting description, and even this attempt showed me just how much space the dialogue in the previous sections was taking. I like the humor in that scene, and I think my original intention was to just give some background information of the aspects of Hell, but I know that that information can fit so much better in another part of my story. The whole scene might just have to be scrapped and moved around. I felt a little discouraged about this at first, but the more I think about it, the more I’m realizing that I can never make a perfect first draft and that I’m telling the story to myself. The good stuff will come later. One last thing I’d like to revise is the dynamic between Caim and Abel. It almost feels a little inconsistent. Sometimes, they’ll act like they tolerate each other, then other times, Abel is just downright rude while Caim wants to murder him. I think having a little more grounding, not just in terms of their relationship, but in setting and time too, would be helpful in the long run.