This is the story of a girl who is completely forgotten by everyone in her life. As we’ve seen in both your last story and this one, you have a talent for keeping tension and unease throughout your narratives. Overall, the pacing was nice, though there were some spots that felt a bit slow. It was also a great detail to add the lake from the beginning to the end. It acts as a catalyst for the events of being forgotten. I also liked your decision to write this story in a first-person point of view. I think it really adds to the uneasiness and tension of your character. Just a few questions/suggestions: The scene with the police officer needs some reworking. Even if they do dismiss her at the end, I don’t think the officer would immediately assume that she’s a prankster. Even if the officer were certain that there wasn’t anyone with her name, wouldn’t the police want to keep her for more questions or even to see if she needed medical attention? I think if you lean more into the ideal that most people genuinely want to help, it may lead your story in a more interesting direction. I was also a little confused about the ending and Liam. What is Liam’s motive in the story? Does he know that he met Mia in the coma? Did he somehow have the ability to wipe everyone’s memory? In a way, Liam comes across as an antagonist in this, though I don’t think that’s your intention. I would suggest considering what role you want Liam to play and how his dynamic contrasts or compares to Mia’s motive. Overall, I really loved your narrative and I think you have a lot of room to work with without losing the core part of your story!