This is the story of a seamstress named Uzume attempting to bring her parents and husband together. As a character-driven piece, the dialogue in this story felt very natural, especially seen in conversations between Uzume and Kenta. I also liked your pacing. The beginning followed Uzume in a time of calm, reminding a reader of “peace before the storm”. It’s slow enough to help the reader understand the character and setting but not fast enough to place the reader right into the action. The overall story of the seamstress is very sweet and heartwarming, definitely reminding me of a sort of star crossed lovers trope. Throughout the narrative, there is a lot of really great imagery and callbacks to events earlier in the story. I do have some suggestions: There are transitional sections that don’t have breaks or any indications of a scene change, which threw me off in some parts. This is an easy fix, so I wouldn’t dwell on it too much. The development of Uzume’s parents felt a little flat. I wish that there was something that connected Uzume to her parents besides blood, as we don’t really see how their relationship turns to a point where her parents straight up abandon her. I also wish there was more development or background information for Kenta. We get a lot of his background through dialogue, but I was hoping that maybe Kenta would have doubts about being “good enough” for Uzume and her parents. That would be a great source of development between the two, as a reader may feel like we’re being told that they have a wonderful relationship. Other than that, you’ve done a great job with your story!
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