This is the story of a woman who is girlbossing her way into getting the justice she deserves. It’s a very dark story, one that definitely doesn’t shy away from hard topics and graphic descriptions, but I think that your story benefits from how honest it is. Your dialogue felt natural and the sense of anger and hostility was present throughout the narrative. While your story doesn’t shy away, it doesn’t get too in-depth of the harder topics, which is great. I feel like a lot of stories can get bogged down by over the top scenes and truly graphic descriptions, but you balance your characters’ emotions and actions with a toned-down description. I loved your ending, especially the 911 line. I think it adds some mystery about what happens to your characters. Will Essie turn herself in? Will she just report the body? Did Gunner actually die? It’s a nice to see a character who truly deserves justice, but the author just barely teases the conclusion of it. Suggestion-wise, I don’t think I have a whole lot to say. I would like more background on Essie. I feel like I understood her motivation for wanting justice, but at the same time, there are moments where I don’t quite get why she takes the actions she takes. Why not report to the police first? She says that killing would essentially be a mercy to him, but only really stabs him twice. This is going to be hypocritical, but being stabbed twice doesn’t seem like a “true” punishment that Essie would want to inflict (don’t get me wrong, I’d totally cry and pass out if I were stabbed). In shorter words, Essie seems like a truly rage-filled person with good reason, but she tends to show a lot of restraint despite being in front of her rapist. Overall, you’ve written a great story!
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