This is the story of a girl coping with her disability by escaping into a fantasy world where everything is just right. First off, you’ve done such a great job with the emotion in this story. Gracie feels like a typical teenage girl who wants to live a “normal” life. It was heartbreaking to hear her thoughts, especially the internalized ableism that she seems to have. Gracie’s voice and thoughts are clear and I feel that these components are the core of your story. I also feel like Gracie is a relatable character despite her disability. Many teenagers feel out of place in high school and want to be seen, which is exactly how Gracie feels in her situation. I loved how you made a character who can be universally relatable while also maintaining her individuality and unique circumstances. Another aspect of your story that I liked was your descriptions. I know it seems like a very general comment, but I really did feel like I could picture Gracie’s room and family. The contrast in descriptions from your “reality” and “fiction” sections was clear and well done, and I really appreciated how you used these descriptions to further the narrative. Some suggestions: I understand that Gracie’s internal ableism is a key point within the narrative, but it also feels like it holds her back. With a character-driven story, I (as a reader) want to see how the character changes. Maybe if you added a teacher or friend that helps/pushes Gracie to see that her disability doesn’t make her any less capable/beautiful/worthy, it may flesh out your story a bit more. I also felt like Gracie’s disability is a little ambiguous, which is fine, but I think if you took a small section to talk about some of the things Gracie can’t physically do it would help the reader understand her internalized ableism more. Overall, you’ve done a great job and you should be really proud of the story you’ve written!
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