This story is about a boy named Eren who strives to unite the world of creatures with the world of humans. He tries to accomplish his goal with his friend Dawn, Captain Kamado, and Professor Volkner. The story seems to take a huge inspiration from the Pokemon series. One of the aspects I appreciated was the characterization of Eren and Dawn, especially through their dialogue. Your voice is strong throughout the story, giving a sense of mysticism and casualness to the overall narrative. There were already a few comments about how your story may be too complex for the purposes of a short story, which I agree with. I feel as though I was missing out on crucial information regarding the village and the survey team. I also wish that Eren had more interactions within the community. It seems unlikely to me that the villagers would just accept someone who fell from the sky without some apprehension at first. The tension and mystery surrounding the creatures was also an aspect I enjoyed, but I feel like you take the mystery aspect too far. We barely get a chance to interact with these creatures outside of Regi, who is helpful. Maybe if you added a scene that demonstrates how the creatures can be harmful, it may add more tension and add stakes to why the survey team is needed. Overall, I think my main critique would be to add more detail about your world in certain places, especially when it comes to Eren and the creatures and maybe take out some scenes that hold back the “action” of the story.