This is the story of an FBI agent who turns to his family to solve his final case. The plot of this story is, to me at least, heartwarming. It reminds me of characters and stories that always give their final valiant effort for the greater good or of someone who gives their last ‘hurrah’ before they leave forever. I liked the unique perspective of an elderly character realizing that he’s going to a retirement home and being unable to fully adjust. I feel like modern stories don’t focus on elderly characters as much as they should, so your perspective was very refreshing. I also like the dynamic between his daughter and grandson. It reminds me of old adventure movies made for kids where you have an old, wise mentor figure and then the young, plucky adventurer. Your characters have a timeless feel to them that I think you should experiment with more. Some suggestions: First off, I think that you focus a little too much on exposition rather than putting the readers into the action. The phrase “show don’t tell” comes to mind, but I think you can keep the expositional tone while also giving us moments of action. I would have loved to have a description of the car ride between the grandfather and Brady, or maybe a description of the grandfather’s retirement home. These little details will make the world come to life so much more. Also, small nit-picky thing. One of your characters says “howdy” at one point, and as much as I like to talk about how terrible Ohio is, people don’t talk like that, especially in a city with a bank. I cannot stand for this Ohio slander. Last suggestion is to flesh out your ending a little more. I understand that you’re pressed for pages, but this ending feels so abrupt and like I’m missing a valuable part of the narrative. Overall, you’ve got a great plot going and you have loveable and dynamic characters that just need a little more development!