This story is about a man who tries to do his best to raise his son while also navigating an intense grief over the loss of his wife. Overall, your story had a wonderful and distinct voice that really represented just how hopeless and the depressed your main character felt. I also liked how you broke the story up over the span of a few days to show not only how the main character’s routine is monotonous, but also to show just how the dad disrupts that routine to do what is best for his son. There are many small details of the character’s grief that make it feel real, such as dissociating and messing up small tasks. It truly feels like everything the character tries to do just doesn’t go right. Even when he does succeed, there’s a sense of fragility in the small victories, like he is expecting the worst because he’s already hit rock bottom. Moving onto suggestions, while I think the inner monologue of grief is great, there are places where you can ease up on the blanket grief statements. The audience knows that he’s sad and depressed, so you don’t need to have your main character talk about his grief over and over. Maybe consider showing some aspects of his grief more, such as zoning out or even lashing out at his boss. I also wish that maybe there was a moment where there was tension between father and son. Kevin, although he’s 8, has to have some sense of his mom being gone, and that has to be hard on him. We don’t get any of that though, and it genuinely seems like Kevin is perfectly fine. The audience needs *Drama*, so consider fleshing out Kevin to be more than just a motivation for your main character. Other than that, I think you did a wonderful job!
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