This is the story of a woman’s hubris and the recognition of her impending insanity by both herself and her crew. I liked how you pursued a fantasy-type story, even though fantasy short stories can be incredibly difficult to write. I think you did a wonderful job with your worldbuilding. You give the reader enough of the “real” world for your story to have a sense of realism while also maintaining your fantasy elements. I enjoyed your steampunk inspiration, though I wish we got a little more of that description within the narrative. I’m a sucker for sea-faring stories and adventures, so I genuinely enjoyed this story, especially since it gives off a “Moby Dick” vibe. I thought you did a great job developing the captain’s (Alina) motivations for hunting the serpent and I liked how you first told the story to the reader as a “fable” from one of the crewmates. It gives a sense of wonder and fantasy to Alina, though we are also disconnected from her. Moving onto suggestions, I think that you can improve your story in terms of development. While I like the different perspectives, I feel like you keep your characters separated. You have a line near the end of the story that insinuates that Alina and Kieran have unspoken thoughts and feelings towards each other, but I feel as though there is very little development in terms of the relationship they have. The relationship between Pace and Alina is done better, but I wish that there was just more characterization. Your piece is incredibly character-driven and believe me when I say that your readers want to know just as much about them as you already do. Despite some development on relationships, there’s a few spots that you may want to go into greater depth, but I’ve marked these spaces on the hard copy I’m going to give you, so keep a look out. Overall, well done on your story!